on being uncomfortable

Something I'm trying to get better at is being uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is a skill. To be good at it means to be able to sit in a state of discomfort without necessarily having to change something right away. Without having to react.

It's a really valuable skill. It's useful just for navigating the world in a calmer way; being able to exist with some equanimity in warm, stuffy aircraft or loud and crowded subway cars. The goal is not to feel totally fine with the situation. The goal isn't to enjoy the unpleasant environment, nor to avoid it. The goal is just to accept that moment for what it is without trying to change it. The goal is to be uncomfortable, successfully. It's hard.

It's not just physical discomfort. Things can be uncomfortable emotionally too. It can be uncomfortable to look at oneself and one's imperfections honestly. It can be painful to experience life's sadnesses. It's often easier to avoid them, deluding oneself that things aren't that bad, or distracting oneself however possible. It's hard, but a lot of the important things in life are uncomfortable. It can be really valuable to be able to sit with them even so.

The most valuable realization here for me was that it's okay to not do everything perfectly. I don't have to be perfectly capable of tolerating any discomfort, any pain, physical or emotional. It's just not possible. What I can do, is try to move from where I am, as gradually as I need to, towards better.